I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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