It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
