the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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