I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
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