all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
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