I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Randomize