I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
