I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
