Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
tell me about the eggs
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
