She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Randomize
