I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize
