Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
