I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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