I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
I wear drunk well.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
