My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Randomize