at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
