I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
