is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize
