just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
