Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
