so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize