Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
