He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
