listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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