See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Randomize
