I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
