im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Randomize