dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
