I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
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