another moral hangover. fuck.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
