Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
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