remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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