it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
this will be a night to untag.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
