someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
