I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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