Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
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He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
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In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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