I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
vagina is talking i cant
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
