so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
