He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
