my soul wont recognize me after tonight
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Randomize
