i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
