ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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