I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
