I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
