The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
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