I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
