i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I am naked and annoyed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
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