I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
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