I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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