My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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