When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
thus making me awesome and them whores
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Randomize
