I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
