I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize