best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize
