I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
