Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
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