Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
so explain again why im purple
no
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
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Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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