It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Randomize
