they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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