nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Randomize
