my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
