we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
you are never too drunk for berry picking
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
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