I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
and she was petting her beer can
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize