i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
im on a boat
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