We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
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