Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
i would one night stand the shit outta him
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
